


Discovering Love

by Niamsxx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 01:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4372439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niamsxx/pseuds/Niamsxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one in which Louis and Harry have yet to discover their feelings for one another are stronger than they think, and Harry needs to find positive feelings for himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discovering Love

**Author's Note:**

> I just found this on my laptop and I'm not sure when I actually wrote it, however, I think it has some potential. So feedback and I will write more !

      **Louis's P.O.V**

 

    _“I hate everything about you.” A feminine voice shrieked from the adjacent hotel room. Must be one of Harry’s one night stands. Louis sits back against the headboard of his bed and listens to the argument happening next door. It’s not uncommon for this to happen. Especially after they all spend a night out with the band._

_“I mean come on Harry, you’re a womanizer. You never know when to stop do you?”_

_‘Jess, come on. It was a mistake…..”_

_“My name is not Jess, its Jenny. God dammit Harry, I can’t believe I actually believed in you. You’re such a waste. I’m done.”_

_“Please Jenny; please give me a second chance.”_

_“No you don’t deserve it. You are so pathetic.” The sharp sound of a slap echoes from the room. Poor Haz, but he had that one coming. Heels clack against the wood floor and the sound of the door slamming shut startles Louis from his relaxed position. Better go check on Haz now._

_Harry’s hotel room is laid out the same exact way Louis’ is. As you enter to the right a dresser is pushed against the wall. Stacks of paper are scattered across the top, with t-shirts littering the floor. Harry obviously unpacked. To the left of the dresser is the king size bed. Two plush pillows mark the head of the bed and Louis sees a figure slumped beneath the covers. Harry. Soft whimpers bounced off the walls. Harry’s back moved up and down, taking in large gasps of air.  Poor Haz. He gets so worked up after these things. Slowly bending down beside him I placed my hand on the small of his back._

_“Haz. Are you okay?”_

_The whimpers continued until they escalated into heartbreaking sobs. My hands moved over his back circling his back muscles._

_“I overheard the argument. I just want you to know….” I trailed off. Oh no, what am I going to say? God Louis, think before you speak._

_“You don’t have to finish that.” A small squeak passed Harry’s lips, his voice shaking.  “I really am pathetic. I’m blind to how much I hurt people. I am a womanizer, it’s the truth.” He turned his head craning his neck to meet my eyes. His once forest green eyes were hazy. Dried up tears covered his cheeks._

_“You’re not pathetic Haz. I don’t care what you think, or what anyone else thinks… you are perfect Haz. We all make mistakes, but I will not allow you to believe that. Especially since there from someone who only met you less than 24 hours ago.” I prodded pulling his lengthy frame to my chest._

_“You’re too nice to me. I am pathetic.” His eyes tugged meeting mine. Then quickly they jumped to floor as though they were on a fast paced timer.  The puffiness around his orbs was far less great then it was- but it was still clear he was upset. His lips were in a firm line, and every so often his teeth would pop out and graze his lips._

_“You are not pathetic.”_

_“Yes I am.”_

_“No.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“No.”_

_The back and forth debate went on for several minutes until I finally couldn’t take it anymore. Harry is so stubborn sometimes, I swear to God. Springing up from my relaxed position, knocking Harry out of my arms I stood up. Crinkling my lips in a pout I turned my back away from him. If he wants to be stubborn, then I can be as well._

_“If you don’t want to listen to the truth Harold, then well, I’ll just leave. Only a baby acts like this.” I deadpanned.  I never call him ‘Harold’ but given the circumstances it felt necessary with the tone of conversation. I really shouldn’t have called him a baby, but I just feel so angry. A harrumph broke the silence.  Figures, Harry is continuing his little kid charade. Sure, Harry is the youngest out of the band merely 17. Yet, sometimes he acts as though he’s only 10, going through a faze where he needs so much attention. The fans portray me as the die- hard kid at heart. But at least I am reasonable. Well, I suppose I do have my moments. Like that time when we went to the carnival and Liam wouldn’t let me ride the roller coaster, well I rather not further explain. But, seriously I am reasonable._

_Later on that night Liam walks into my hotel room dressed in slacks and a striped button down shirt._

_“Woah fancy Payne. You charming the ladies tonight?” I quip taking in his outfit and his quiffed back hairdo._

_“Lou- how many times have I told you not to call me Payne? It sounds too weird or something… anyways, I do have a girlfriend, thank you very much, we are going out for a bite to eat. She just got off the plane. So we are out. I’ll be home earlier though since we have an interview tomorrow, okay?”_

_“Fine- fine. No need to drag on. I will be awaiting your return.” I announce sarcasm dripping from my tone. I can’t help but let out a chuckle from the expression taking over Liam’s face. Liam is something. I really don’t know how to describe him. One minute he is full of energy, the next, well he is more stern and fatherly. Daddy Direction, if you must.  He backs out of the room quickly as though there someone chasing him._

_“Don’t run in the hallways Liam!” I screech mocking Liam. If he can reprimand me for talking while chewing then I can scold him for running in a public building._

_Liam is gone. And now I’m left alone. Usually I would find Harry and bother him, but given our argument or say mishap before, I better not. Besides, I’m not going to be the one to break down. I can go without speaking to him. He will be the one who comes crawling back to me. You’ll see. But this sucks. I am all alone in a fancy hotel room with nothing to do. I know, I know, there’s a huge flat screen television right in front of me. Yet, I don’t have the urge to turn it on. Zayn and Niall are probably playing FiFa at the moment. So I may as well join them. Then maybe Harry will be off of my mind._

_“Playing FiFa without me?” I screeched entering Niall’s hotel room.  The two, as suspected, are on the floor hunched against the sofa with controllers in hands, and beady eyes.  Niall’s seems to be winning by the shouts escaping his throat._

_“Score!”_

_“Take that Zayn!” Breaking from his game mode he took notice of me leaning against the threshold._

_“Louehh! join the party man! Watch me dominate Zayn!”_

_“He’s only winning because he’s a cheater!” Zayn proclaimed throwing his hands in the air. In the process the controller went flying to the floor making a large thump._

_“Good going Zayn.” Niall picked up the controller a pout taking over his lips. Niall takes his game way to seriously. Checking for any marks on the controller he then handed it to me._

_“Lou maybe you should play, Zayn is too rough with my baby.” Petting his hands over the control he set up set a new match. “Besides, Zayn is a sore loser. We don’t want to play with sore losers.” He smirked sticking out his tongue._

_“It’s on Nialler. Don’t whine when I win.” The match started and I moved my player towards the opposing goal with the football at my feet. Boy this game is easy. Niall puffed from his position on the loveseat. Score for me._

_“That’s just luck!”_

_“Nah- ah, I’m just better than you. You just have got to accept that.” I prided._

_Our game continued, with me in the lead. Niall was being a sour puss, and huffing and puffing all night long. After our 5th game my legs began to ache. The floor was no comfort to my growing limbs. Standing up and stretching I bid Niall and a sleepy Zayn goodnight. Who knew video games could make you tired? Or maybe it was the fact that Harry wasn’t there? He was constantly aiding my banter, maybe without him the dull conversation put me to sleep? Stop thinking that Lou. Harry’s being a baby, you don’t need him._

 

**Harry's P.O.V** _  
_

     Bright lights were shining through the corners of my eyes. My eyes were barely open, but I could tell it was morning. I felt the heavy comforter pushing me down. It was like a constraint. My legs must be tangled beneath. Prodding my hands around the fabric I could easily tell this was not my comforter; we must be at a hotel. Blinking open my eyes I surrendered to the morning. A bang sounded in the room. The door to my attached bathroom was closed, meaning someone must be in there. But seriously, why would someone be in MY bathroom? Solving my thoughts, the door creaked open and Liam walked out in black jeans and a white t-shirt, draped with a jean jacket.

“Oh good you’re awake. I was just about to wake you up.” He said locking his eyes on my figure beneath the covers.

“Why are you here?” I added. We didn’t have any concerts today so there was no reason for me to be awakening at this early hour. Glancing at the bedside clock to reassure my sense of time I saw it was nearly noon.  Oh wow. It was later than I suspected.

“”We do have an interview in about an hour. I assume you’ve forgotten.” Meeting my eyes he nodded his head, always so responsible. Sometimes it was so annoying. Liam always is on time and has all his responsibilities under control. Why can’t he be like the rest of us, careless and teenagers? Liam literally skipped that step I suppose.

“Do we really? No one ever informed me.” I pouted sinking deeper beneath the sheets. I am the youngest in the band. And it’s like they think I’m too young to keep my own schedule. I don’t need a caretaker. I am perfectly capable of keeping time. Sure, I have a short attention span, but at least I make the effort to remember these things.

“We did inform you. Niall did. Zayn did. Louis did.  I did. You’re just all over the place, Harry. Don’t feel bad. You just need to take more time to consider these things.”

Pushing my body on my side, my back to Liam, I tuned his words out of my head. They didn’t tell me. They didn’t tell me. I would have remembered.

The bed shook slightly, easily enough for me too notice. A cold hand was placed on my back. Liam.

“Harry, please don’t take this hard. We all make mistakes. Please just get ready.” Maybe I was overacting and maybe I should just move on. But I hate this feeling. I hate how I immediately feel like the boys treat me like a child. Then it turns out, I act like one. But, only because I think so hard. Thinking only leads me to feel sad. The same thing happened last night. I was upset and I took it hard. Louis tried to help me, but I wouldn’t let him in; which then led him to calling me a baby. And if anything hurts me more, it’ being called out for being a baby. It’s something that nags at my mind and tugs at my heart. I can’t seem to escape it.

“Harry, please. I’ll let you sit up front.” Liam pleads the desperation evident in his tone.  
 

 “Fine.” Liam got up and made his way out of the room, but not before he could remind me of the short amount of time we had left till the interview.

      Brushing my teeth and throwing on new clothes I looked into the reflection of the mirror. My skinny black jeans fell to my ankles. I couldn’t help but feel like a child. It didn’t help the meltdown I had before, but even now, looking into the mirror I felt so little. My cheeks were puffy and my hair was babyish. Well, at least that’s what some fans said on twitter. Liam scolded me for reading the hate I get, but I couldn’t help it. I want to know why people don’t like me. The plaid shirt fitted on my lanky body. It fell from my shoulders. Again, I looked like a child. Louis and Zayn had muscle surrounding their shoulders. They had abs. Not me. Liam was tall and had chiseled facial features that called out, ‘I’m a man.’ Niall had long legs and strong arms. Not me. Maybe I really was a baby.  A tap at the door and a shout, “time to go!” broke me from my thoughts. It’s time to face reality.

      The studio in which are interview was being held was on 1st street, a tall building that easily had 100 floors, which loomed above us. Fear replaced my thoughts. I was busy talking to Zayn about the encounter I had with a fan in our hotel lobby. But, now looking at this building I couldn’t help but feel afraid. The boys had no clue about my fear of heights. Sure, I’ve flown before, and I’ve been in large buildings. But, this was different. As I boarded the plane I had no view of how high up we would be. And I made sure never to sit beside the window. Louis usually took that place anyway. I always had an excuse. And all the previous buildings were never nearly this big. This is New York City though. So I’m going to have to get used to it.  Stepping out of the vehicle I gasped in the air of the city. Darks clouds hovered above us. If this wasn’t a sign of my fright then I don’t know what was. Liam led the way towards the lobby, deep in his own world. He was looking all around for the elevator, while Niall looked all around the lobby taking in the people. Zayn stood beside me talking to Louis in the background. My hands were shaking slightly and I felt all the color fall from my face. The room was getting hotter. All I could hope for is that I don’t faint.

**Louis's P.O.V**

   _I was sitting on the plush couch of the hotel hall talking with Zayn and Niall when Liam came by. He was neatly dressed in black skinnies and a white t-shirt. His hair was combed back; obviously he was prepared as usual._

_“Okay guys, I just got Harry up. So he should be ready shortly.” Sure hope he’s in better spirits than he was last night._

_“Oh Harry had a slight meltdown when I woke him up. So guys, be nice. I don’t know what kind of mood he will be in when he comes out.”_

_That concludes that thought. What kind of a meltdown?_

_“He got upset that he didn’t remember the interview.” Liam answered. Did I say that out loud?_

_“Yes Lou you did.”_

_“Oh. Wow. Oops. How embarrassing.”_

_“It’s fine. So be nice.”_

_Liam walked back to his room leaving us to carry our conversation about Zayn’s new fling. Two nights ago we all went to a club and Zayn met this pretty blonde girl named Perrie. Several drinks later the two were clinging to each other and laughing relentlessly. Zayn keeps telling us that it was nearly a fling, but if you could have seen him two nights ago, surely you would think differently.  Yet I can’t stop thinking about what Liam said about Harry. Harry had another meltdown. I thought he was just having a bad day yesterday. It was unusual for him to have two in less than 24 hours difference.  Harry was special. He was funny and he was kind. But sometimes he just broke. The emotions he felt and his thoughts just consumed him and he broke down. It was not very rare, but it wasn’t common. On tour we were preoccupied with schedules and sound checks. On days when we had no concert we usually had an interview or sorts. But Harry never broke when we were on tour. So this was upsetting to say the least. All we could hope is that Harry will return to normal once he gets out._

_The SUV emerged from the tow to tow traffic on the interstate. We were finally making our way into downtown NYC. I could see the tall buildings and the people crossing the streets. So many people were dressed in suits. NYC really was a busy place._

_“So when is dinner again?” Niall questioned rubbing his stomach in protest. We have been traveling in the car since half past one. It was very early for dinner, only twenty minutes to 3. But when it comes to Niall, dinner can be at any time._

_“God Niall, you had some soup when we left. We’re almost to the interview. Once it’s over maybe we can stop for something. Alright?” Liam spoke his fatherly preposition in full force._

_The car came to a stop in front of a large building. 234 1st street the embedded sign read. The building was huge. It seemed to be towering over the other buildings by a lot. I stretched my limbs allowing them to crack in relief. Car rides always seem to do that to me. Zayn sat up from his slumped position. The sleep was evident in his eyes. Zayn never has any trouble sleeping in cars. Me on the other hand, not so much.  Niall jumped from his position on my right, fully ready to get this over with. Harry sitting in the passenger seat, I could tell was jumpy as well. He stretched and kept his gaze fixed out the window. Parking the car Liam set out to find the elevator to get us to the interview on time. He was in his own little world, but we all knew to follow him. Getting lost was not an option. Not only would it be scary, but Liam would not accept that._

_“Hey Haz.” I said timidly following alongside him. I’m not sure how he’s going to react. Is he totally going to forget his outburst last night, or is he still mad at me?_

_His gaze was shifting back and forth across the room we just entered. His hands were shaking. And as the seconds passed his cheeks seemed to redden. He clearly didn’t hear me._

_“What’s wrong?” I worried placing my hand gently on his back. He tensed as soon as I made contact. Uh- oh. What could be wrong? He seemed dazed off; therefore he didn’t hear my concern.  I directed my eyes towards Niall, hoping he would see my gesture and get Liam._

_Liam came over rushing. His lips set in a firm line and his eyes were enlarged, the same look Liam always gets when someone he cares for is in distress._

_“Haz, what’s wrong?” He murmured softly to Harry, embracing him a hug. Harry seemed to snap out of his daze, his eyes locked on to Liam’s. He let out a cough and then suddenly out of nowhere his knees weakened. His legs gave out beneath him and he tumbled to the floor. Luckily not only was Liam holding him but I stepped out to back Liam up so the fall wouldn’t be bad. Harry’s eyes were closed. He fainted. Niall ran to find Paul and security who were meeting us here. While Zayn ran to get Harry a bottle of water. Crouching down to Harry’s level on the floor I shook his shoulder in attempts to wake him up. Several tries late, the whole security team was beside us and Niall poured the water on Harry’s face. Not only was his plaid shirt soaked, and his curls, but also his trousers. His eyes snapped open and he looked around in confusion._

_“Harry you fainted. Are you okay?” Paul, our security guard, questioned. Paul not waiting for any answer stepped forward along with several other security guards aiding Harry to stand and sit on the nearest lobby couch._

_A middle age woman dressed in tan khakis and a buttoned down shirt came over to the couch with a bag of chips and water, handing them to Liam to take over. He kneeled down beside Harry and put the water up to Harry’s mouth. Harry’s pale features soon lighted up, creating a healthy glow. Once he was no longer weak, and he was alert to his surroundings I pushed for an answer._

_“What happened, Haz? You scared us nearly to death.”_

_“I- I don’t know.” He replied. He sounded unsure. Almost as if he knew why he fell ill, and he was merely just keeping it a secret. Liam sensing his discomfort to explain more- helped Harry stand up and carry forth to the interview. Harry moved beside Liam, allowing the hand contact between the two to continue. Their hands were entwined and Liam held his other hand delicately upon Harry’s shoulder. I couldn’t tear my gaze off of the two. It seemed wrong. Harry is mine. Whoa- hold up. No. Why would I think that? Harry is just my best friend. I don’t own him- he doesn’t own me._

_“Why are you shaking your head Lou?” Niall perked up beside me.  Niall, I swear is a ninja. Out of nowhere he will pop and scare me. And I think he knows this as he takes in my shaking form. I can’t help but quiver. Call me a scaredy- cat, but I for one do not enjoy people sneaking up on me. Especially when I’m in deep of thought, like I was. Although, I am kind of grateful for Niall’s interruption this time, my thoughts were running wild._

_“Have a seat, lads we’ll be able to start shortly.” A rough voice calls out as we enter the interview room. I make out a buff looking man sitting back in a roller chair with his feet propped up on a desk. He must be important if he has the likes to do such a thing in an office building. Harry and Liam sit closest to the man falling silently into conversation. Zayn follows behind them with me and Niall trailing along. Several minutes later a young lady, dressed in fancy clothing and high heels makes her way over to us. She sets microphones up in front of us and places glasses of water for us._

_“Okay lads, John and Katie will be in any minute now. I’m going to check on the camera men. I will meet you guys after the interview.” The man who I realize now is making his way towards the door, says confidently. He must be in charge. Yeah, that makes sense. John and Katie must be the interviewers. Shows how much I know before interviews, ha!_

_The cameras began taping and the John and Katie begin with the usual questions. Literally every interview plays out the same way. But I can’t exactly complain. It can be quite boring, but it truly is an experience. From watching the interviewers prepare to the camera man and behind the scenes guys set up, it really is an adventure. Given a couple years ago I would never have imagined to be sitting where I am now._

_Concluding up the show, Katie, who I’ve learned from this past hour is very bubbly, asks us all what our upcoming plans are after the tour._

_“Well, we will have been on the road for eight months. While we all absolutely love touring and sightseeing, we will really be looking forward to a small break. We also will have the chance to have a little down time with family. And then we will be launching our next album. So there are still many things to look forward too.” Liam spoke without giving any of us the chance to reply._

_“Yeah we will be happy to get a small break in between the tour and the new album. Nonetheless we will still be in contact with our fans, because really they are everything to us.” Niall added looking into the camera as he said those words. Teenage girls all over the world will absolutely be giddy when they hear that._

_Leaving the station I was content with how the interview turned out. Sure, it can be a hassle, but now that it’s behind us, the rest of the day awaits us. I can’t help but smile. A free day, all to myself. I can return to the hotel and lie in bed and just soak in the peace. Then I can play more Fifa with the other lads. Then I can help Harry in the kitchen make dinner- well persuade him to let me help. All the lads know that I’m a wreck when it comes to cooking, but Hazza’s my best friend he’ll give in. Speaking of Haz, I have to find out what went wrong before._

**Harry's P.O.V.**

The car pulled to a stop in front of our New York City hotel. It was a fancy one, as most hotels we visit on tour are. Peeling the door handle back I leapt from the car rushing to my escape. Louis is my best friend and knowing him he’s going to question me about the incident before. While we always tell each other everything, I’m just not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. I feel embarrassed about my breakdown with Liam, and then the fainting at the lobby. I just want to enter my room and lie beneath the silky comforters and fall asleep. Then I won’t have the image of Louis face when I regained conciseness mocking my mind. It was a look that crossed with concern and adoration. And it confuses me. Lately I’ve been getting this feeling deep inside me. My stomach churns and I feel like at any moment I’m going to be sick. Then it passes and I start to feel all edgy. I’ve come to the conclusion it only happens when Lou’s around. But that’s the problem, I don’t know why. And more importantly, I can’t have Lou questioning me.  So dodging the lads’ eyes on my retreating back, I head straight to my room. Maybe a nice nap will make this nightmare end.

    The room is in the same order as I left it. The sheets are ripped over as I left them when I woke up. My suitcase is lying in front of the glass mirror spilling out random articles of clothing. To the right my dresser is trashed with papers and random trinkets covering the surface. Sinking down on the bed I lie back exploring for the right position. A yawn escapes my lips. I close my eyes and face the darkness of my eyelids. A slight chill knocks my shoulder. Blankets, that’s what I need. Covering myself I resume to the darkness. Minutes pass facing the darkness with the thoughts of the day rotating through my mind. I feel my limps weaken and my face relaxes. Sleep. 

    Crack! I react to the sudden noise, my body jumping beneath me. My eyes snap open and I search the room for the disturbance. The door is ajar, not the way I had it. I face the sound of shuffling of feet. Louis. His back is facing the entryway to the connecting bathroom. His shoulder muscles quiver as if he is laughing or crying. Suddenly, as if he senses my eyes roaming his presence he turns to face me.

“Sorry Haz. I had to use your bathroom, because mine is not working properly. Sorry I woke you up.” He fiddled with his hands his eyes not meeting mine. Strange.

“It’s fine.” Nodding he made his way towards the door.

“I’ll let you carry on sleeping. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Just a bit tired.” I affirmed snuggling my body beneath the comforters again. The bed was hard. Quite, unlike how it felt before. Figures, the sensation my limbs felt before is gone. Vanished is the tiredness that overtook my eyes and my mind. I wonder what Louis was really doing in here? Surely he couldn’t have just been using the toilet- what could have created that cracking sound? When I questioned him he became jumpy. This only indicates he’s hiding something.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I just realized how many times I switch P.O.V.s so lemme know which you rather see more! But yeah, yeah now that you've read it so far... Is it worth reading more? Comment and tell me ! 
> 
> Thank You,  
> April (Niamsxx)


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